when i named this 'this is your life', i assumed i'd be recording the things that have happened to me. over the past however many months, i've typed out my feelings and views and relationships. it's been a carthatic process that i immediately go to when something happens. i feel like i owe it to myself to describe my life now, and what i have. i never want to forget what i have.

this is my life:

i have a mother who cries because she can't put me through college.
i have a father i see once a week.
i have a brother who is intelligent and knows when to hug me.
i have a real, biological father away in germany who doesn't even send christmas cards.
i have a best friend named kristin who is incredibly strong in everything she pursues.
i have a best friend named shawna who i can talk to like no one else.

i have a gigantic stuffed mickey mouse that i sleep next to.
i have a kitty that curls up on my stomach when i sleep.
i have a stuffed bird named stella that i hug every night.
i have an orange and yellow and green blanket that my great-grandma made.
i have a college rejection letter taped to my wall.

i have my four wisdom teeth sitting on my dresser.
i have a blue bra that gets worn for one person specifically.
i have cds and old records that provide solace.
i have a blank canvas in the office in my house waiting for creativity.

i have bronze toenail polish.
i have scars all over my body.
i have a heartbeat.

i have andrea nichole becker, who means more to me than anything or anyone.
i have andrew joseph richman, who kisses me and calls me lovely.

i have my very own lullaby to help me sleep.

thank you, two thousand and nine.